Image via Google

Image via Google via some vindictive elf

Santa is coming

The little boy said

He comes down the chimney

While I’m snug in my bed

He brings me the toys

That I’ve wanted all year

He eats half a cookie

And drinks seven beers

He opens the fridge

For a post midnight snack

He drinks all the eggnog

Infused with cognac

He lies on the couch

And he flips on the tube

He surfs all the channels

He’s looking for boobs

He finally stops clicking

He’s found Cinemax

Santa takes off his pants

So that he can relax

He passes out there

And he snores ’til the morn’

That’s when mother starts screaming

About eggnog and porn

I don’t understand

Why my mother’s so mad

Oh, shit, that’s not Santa

It’s my crazy, drunk dad

-Bill McMorrow

2 responses »

  1. becca3416 says:

    Whew, I was this close to becoming Jewish.

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