When I was a kid I was confused about where babies came from.
- Was it the stork that brought babies into this world via a vast, complex delivery system involving an organized labor force working scheduled shifts for hourly wages out of regional distribution centers? Or were they on salary? Either way, it was highly unlikely due to the strict migratory patterns of birds, coupled with the fact that a stork would probably just pluck a baby’s eyes out of his head and eat them. It’s called survival of the fittest. Baby loses that fight everytime.
- Was it from someone getting the third light off of a match while lighting up a cigarette in order to appear cooler, sexier and more mature? I don’t know. I wasn’t old enough to play with matches or smoke cigarettes, so of course, I didn’t play with matches or smoke cigarettes . I also didn’t burn down that tree in my yard while playing with matches, smoking cigarettes, and appearing cooler, sexier and more mature.
- Did a baby get made when a man and a woman had anal sex? Don’t be silly, that’s the one sure way to not get pregnant. It’s called safe sex.Get on board, ladies.
But then I watched this, and it all made sense……
Bill McMorrow 
Christ, where did you get this?
Hippies, Archie Bunker-wannabe and oversized psychedelic muppets.
Best contraception out there.
It was either repressed deep down in the back of my brain, or it was on YouTube. I always confuse those two.
I thought baby-making 70s style was riding bareback with no fear of anything more onerous than the clap. But when the NZR speaks, I shut up and listen.
I was scared that if I didn’t listen Henrietta Hippo would eat me.