The 80’s were a time of social awareness. Awareness that the world was starving. Well, parts of the world were starving. My part of the world was busy fucking their own faces with McDLT’s and Frusen Glädjé . But make no mistake about it. People were starving, way over…. there. Starving for food and water. Actually probably thirsting for water. But definitely starving for food. And apparently also starving for heavy metal. Fabulous follicles, flexible fingers and fierce falsettos joined forces at just the right time. An all-star cast of hair metals greats, not so greats, and who-the-fuck-are-theys came together to put their collective faux snake-skin cowboy boot down, and scream in a melodic sing-song fashion, “Were not gonna take it anymore”. After a loudly vehement protest from lawyers representing both Twisted Sister and Atlantic Records, they changed the lyrics to “We’re Stars”. The record was released worldwide to great fanfare, garnering rave reviews from both music critics and the listening public alike. It went on to become the number one selling song in the history of recorded music, and is generally recognized as the reason why hunger has been eradicated from the face of the planet Earth.

Don’t thank me Africa. Thank Ronnie James Dio.

Too late.

2 responses »

  1. clownonfire says:

    This is all lies, said the Clown from the 80s.

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