So seriously, what’s a blog? I just write down random thoughts and put it on the internet? For people to read and smugly comment, “That’s not funny, I wish someone would punch this fucking morons dick loose!”?
Three thoughts on that. Thought #1-Calm down dude, or lady dude. I mean you no offense, so please don’t punch my dick loose or hire/encourage a second party to punch my dick loose. I have a $4,000 front-end deductible on my health insurance and I’m pretty sure penis re-attachment surgery will eat into most of that.
Thought Letter B- You should probably know that this blog is intended for a mature-ish audience and salty language could be tossed about with reckless abandon. Or possibly reckfull abandon, if that is indeed a thing. Let’s make it a thing…. Our thing. Fuck yeah.
Thought Roman Numeral III-I probably should have warned you about the whorish language first and my shitty health coverage second. Hey, I’m learning. Baby steps…
Bill McMorrow 
Nice! I’ve always wanted to read a whoreishly (is that a word) blog!!
Whoreishly written is what I meant to say. Fucking it up already.
Hello… That is all for now.
Let me be the first to congratulate you on your very own blog. I trust that call from the FCC you’re about to recieve for salty language won’t detract from the excitement of being able to tell your friends — nay, the world — to fuck off.
Thanks and fuck the FCC.
Yeah. Fuck the FCC.