He’s watching you. watching him, watching you.

Hello again blog. I’ve missed you. I know, I’ve said that before. But I meant it then and I mean it now. Don’t look at me like that, blog. It tugs at my proverbial heartstrings to know that my neglect has hurt you. I’ll make it up to you. Somehow.

Writers block is a motherfucker, motherfucker. I keep starting posts and stopping them because they just don’t flow. Sometimes a good idea just writes itself. Well, it makes me write itself. It’s all like, “I don’t care if you’re tired Bill, you’re gonna keep writing until I tell you to cut the shit. Get it?” I usually reply with something like, “Why do you gotta be such a dick, idea in my head?” Then idea in my head says, ” Keep it up and I’ll give you an aneurysm. Would you like that? An aneurysm? Keep it up. I’ll do it. I’m right here next to your medulla oblongata anyways. I’ll just hold my breath and constrict the blood flow to your delicate boy brain and BOOM, seizure.” Then I say, “Don’t threaten me, idea. Or I’ll just forget you” Then we laugh. Awkwardly at first, even awkwardlier as it progresses, just me in the fetal position laughcrying. I do love me a good laughcry, though.

Anyways the ideas haven’t been coming like that. which sucks. But then one of my favorite bloggers sent me a message on Facebook. It’s a popular social networking site. You’ll hear about it soon. It’s gonna be bigger than MySpace, eventually. I think. The message said, “Bill, I miss you on the blogosphere. Screw writers block. Here… Write about Le Clown…See, it’s that easy” Challenge accepted, Good Sir.

Le Clown is the diabolical mastermind behind A Clown On Fire. He hails from Montreal, Canada. Or The Great White North as I call it. But I also refer to the state of New Hampshire as The Great White North. As well as anything north of Boston, so that could get confusing to some of my readers from other parts of the globe. That’s right, it’s the world-wide web, people. I’ve had views all over this planet. From North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Australia, and Africa. Antarctica is currently still holding out. I don’t know if it’s personal or just a coincidence, but it feels personal. I’ve never shit-talked Antarctica. At least not publicly.There was that one time I had a few too many wobbly pops and loudly declared Antarctica to be “Mother Nature’s taint”. But who hasn’t? Right? Plus I don’t think there were any Eskimos around when I said it. Is that what they got there? Eskimos? Is that racist? Anyway, if anybody knows somebody who knows somebody who says they know somebody who knows somebody who is going to Antarctica to study penguins or some such shit, could you ask them to get on their iPhone and visit billmcmorrow.com? For me? Thanks pal, you are the balls.

Wait a minute! This isn’t about me. This is about Le Clown.

Le Clown writes about the trials and tribulations of life and love and family. He also writes about Le Clown. A lot.
He’s funny as fuck, and always a great read. Plus he has a fedora and a plan for world domination and there’s a pretty good chance you will have to beg for your life in front of him at some point. Or at least beg his pardon. Good manners are still going to be important during his Final Judgement, so better get on his good side now and go over to a Clown On Fire and start reading. Do it, carnie.
Thanks for the kind words and the motivation Eric (Sshhhh, that’s Clowns real name)
Now stop bossing me around, Le Fucker.

30 responses »

  1. Smaktakula says:

    Le Clown amuses me.

  2. clownonfire says:

    Bill,
    As much as I thought this was hilarious, and it will be reblogged. I don’t think you’re right with Facebook. I give it a few months.

    Here’s a story for you about The Great White North… A few years back, I take a trip to Vermont. As you may know, although you’re American and you’re all a bunch of wankers and idiots, Vermont is only a few hours South of Montrealer. We’re staying at a B&B.

    During breakfast, we start chatting with a couple from California:

    Super Conservative Dumb Ass Californian: “Where are you from?”
    Le Clown: “I’m from Montreal”
    Super Conservative Dumb ass Californian: “Oh! You must be in Vermont for the heat!”

    WTF!!
    Le Clown

  3. meizac says:

    I fear that, in reading your blog, I might be in for more of a Le Clown on Fire-esque experience than I can handle, but I’ll give it a go. Great post!

  4. Dear Bill,

    Even though he’s a nice guy for a Canadian, Le Clown has nothing on you. I should know because I launched him into the stratosphere when I guest-assisted on his blog.

    BTW you should check out my post from yesterday. It’s right up your proverbial alley.

    Glad to see you back, and as much as I hate to admit it, Le Clown can be inspiring for someone who never got past 8th grade.

    GG

  5. free penny press says:

    Bill, Bill, Bill.. what can I say.. you make a lowly blogger such as myself try to choose between yourself & Le Clown.. How could one make such a choice..
    I mean Le Clown is well, Le Clown
    and you are, well, you..
    equally great..but now that you mention it, Le Clown owes me a Montreal size cup o’ joe..

  6. bcataldo says:

    Every post makes me feel like seclusion and restraints may be a good idea, but then thats borderline inhumane, but then thats right up Bills alley. Im just not going to say which alley. ANYWAY, the trick to writers block is to keep submitting smaller blips of blogs, (ya folllowing me, its like a ping-pong thing, wow, Im Dr Seuss level now) and we’ll read and follow along, and then, the juices will flow to that brain and BLAM, a great blog like this one. Only problem I got with you McMorrow, is Im waiting too long to see what youre demented mind has to say…you rock..Beck

    • billmcmorrow says:

      Thanks for taking the time to read them my friend. I greatly appreciate it. I have so many ideas for blogs that I need to write. Just from our teen years I could write a book, if my brain would let me. You Rock, Becky.

  7. clownonfire says:

    Reblogged this on A Clown On Fire and commented:
    Even R-E-A-L men like Le Bill are into Le Clown. I declare Friday Le Clown’s Day – and every other day of the week, too.

  8. paralaxvu says:

    Although we all love Le Clown, we all do NOT love being called carnies. Ppfffft on carnies! I’d like to tll carnies’ toes and roast ‘em over an open leclownon fire!

  9. I love that the terrain stays put when I scroll up and down. Le Clown is my nephew — he can do no wrong. I’m glad you’re over your writer’s block — I enjoyed reading your post. I might hang out here a bit just to scroll up and down over the terrain…

    • billmcmorrow says:

      Thanks for reading it. And the background just got done today, I’m digging it as well. Stay as long as you like, but please shut off the lights when you leave.

  10. Bill – I think I’ll go ahead and follow you. And really Le Clown? You should be happy that we allow you to live in America’s Hat (Canada) and don’t make you live in America’s Boots (Mexico).

    XOXO
    TWTG (A somewhat, sometimes (not really though) conservative from California)

  11. TJLubrano says:

    Hello Bill!

    It’s Tahira (more known as TJ) from Le Clown page…yes, I kept a close eye on his blog and followed him here, although you’re sending us back to follow Le Clown. I need more coffee to end this confusion in one of my brains. Yes. brains. That said, I love discovering cool & funny blogs and I love stalking, so consider yourself stalked :) Question, did you get views from Holland? You probably did, but if you didn’t…you’re welcome.

    *gives some Tonic paper to Le Clown as a thank you*

    Ciao!

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