Hello again blog. I’ve missed you. I know, I’ve said that before. But I meant it then and I mean it now. Don’t look at me like that, blog. It tugs at my proverbial heartstrings to know that my neglect has hurt you. I’ll make it up to you. Somehow.
Writers block is a motherfucker, motherfucker. I keep starting posts and stopping them because they just don’t flow. Sometimes a good idea just writes itself. Well, it makes me write itself. It’s all like, “I don’t care if you’re tired Bill, you’re gonna keep writing until I tell you to cut the shit. Get it?” I usually reply with something like, “Why do you gotta be such a dick, idea in my head?” Then idea in my head says, ” Keep it up and I’ll give you an aneurysm. Would you like that? An aneurysm? Keep it up. I’ll do it. I’m right here next to your medulla oblongata anyways. I’ll just hold my breath and constrict the blood flow to your delicate boy brain and BOOM, seizure.” Then I say, “Don’t threaten me, idea. Or I’ll just forget you” Then we laugh. Awkwardly at first, even awkwardlier as it progresses, just me in the fetal position laughcrying. I do love me a good laughcry, though.
Anyways the ideas haven’t been coming like that. which sucks. But then one of my favorite bloggers sent me a message on Facebook. It’s a popular social networking site. You’ll hear about it soon. It’s gonna be bigger than MySpace, eventually. I think. The message said, “Bill, I miss you on the blogosphere. Screw writers block. Here… Write about Le Clown…See, it’s that easy” Challenge accepted, Good Sir.
Le Clown is the diabolical mastermind behind A Clown On Fire. He hails from Montreal, Canada. Or The Great White North as I call it. But I also refer to the state of New Hampshire as The Great White North. As well as anything north of Boston, so that could get confusing to some of my readers from other parts of the globe. That’s right, it’s the world-wide web, people. I’ve had views all over this planet. From North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Australia, and Africa. Antarctica is currently still holding out. I don’t know if it’s personal or just a coincidence, but it feels personal. I’ve never shit-talked Antarctica. At least not publicly.There was that one time I had a few too many wobbly pops and loudly declared Antarctica to be “Mother Nature’s taint”. But who hasn’t? Right? Plus I don’t think there were any Eskimos around when I said it. Is that what they got there? Eskimos? Is that racist? Anyway, if anybody knows somebody who knows somebody who says they know somebody who knows somebody who is going to Antarctica to study penguins or some such shit, could you ask them to get on their iPhone and visit billmcmorrow.com? For me? Thanks pal, you are the balls.
Wait a minute! This isn’t about me. This is about Le Clown.
Le Clown writes about the trials and tribulations of life and love and family. He also writes about Le Clown. A lot.
He’s funny as fuck, and always a great read. Plus he has a fedora and a plan for world domination and there’s a pretty good chance you will have to beg for your life in front of him at some point. Or at least beg his pardon. Good manners are still going to be important during his Final Judgement, so better get on his good side now and go over to a Clown On Fire and start reading. Do it, carnie.
Thanks for the kind words and the motivation Eric (Sshhhh, that’s Clowns real name)
Now stop bossing me around, Le Fucker.